...what I found browsing my old documents... old homework for English classes ;) :

We all know it’s not easy to be an Englishman in New York. But it’s much more harder to be any foreign student in Poland. If you are a foreigner there are some main rules that can help you get by. But there’s no warranty that if you follow them you will survive.
Here they are:
• If you are a black man and see a group of bald white men approaching you better run.
• If you are a bald white man and see a group of black men approaching you better run.
• If you are a bald white man and see a black man running to should follow him not to disappoint him.
These are the basic running rules.
Now if you want to be polite in a company remember:
• The only politically correct subject of discussions are computers.
• OK, if you really want to talk about something else you should somehow connect it with computers if you want to be listened.
• If you don’t know much about computers do not speak much.
• Don’t tell jokes that make sense – they’re not funny enough.
• Don’t learn to pass the exams – learn how to pass the exams.
• Don’t do you homework too often or you will be called a swot.
• Listen only to music that does not seem to be a music at all, but everyone plays it again and again.
• Always look on the dark side of the moon.

You should follow these rules, but remember there’s no warranty.

Just kidding